okay. there's a hell lot happening in my life and i don't know where to begin. it'd be safe to say i'm new at this. i'd normally never admit i couldn't do anything but well, here's a first one. the most writing i ever did was in my school essays, diaries and twitter. lets see how far we get on blogspot!
i'd start with my 16th birthday. 31st december 2008. not my best. but then that was school. all we did was make it to school on time in the morning, make through the morning session, wait for recess, then when recess was over, wit for lunch break. and then survived the post lunch history or english literature or selfwork or whatever, and waited for sports period (we had one everyday for one hour). i remember being really into sports. those were the good old days when we played the shittiest football. we loved every bit of it. that was also the time we whined about how our lives sucked on weekends and how we'd never even kissed a boy and how THIS year it was going to change. those were maybe the most carefree days life had in store for me. i wasn't immensely career driven. it didn't matter to me if i stood second. i was almost always the topper. and the persistent, consistent rule-breaker. i was a free spirit. studying came naturally to me. i read a lot. i read every book my library had (the literature section, of course). those were the days that shaped my mind, gave me my own outlook to perceive the world. that was when i loved shakespeare.. i read all abridged forms (the original being far too complicated) and dickens and charlotte bronte and jane austen and everything i could lay my hands on! i was a complete nutter, we ran in corridors and did whatever we felt like... bunked mock tests for boards, slept through class, watched movies.. everything. i got 93.4% in my CBSE boards. i wasn't surprised. i was elated, and proud of myself. my parents were, too. i'm blessed with parents who take me as i am, and not expect goddamn laurels from me and decide what i deserve from the marks i get and the marks i don't get. supportive in everything i do. "go have fun but study when you have to". thanks for not ruining my childhood like i've seen many people do to their kids. because that's downright criminal.
then i went to america. it JUST HAPPENED! one day i sat there reading a newspaper and there was this ad about a tour to america with a training camp in NASA. it sounded exciting. i just said to baba "i wanna go to NASA". i wasn't really expecting a "yes" as an answer and i turned to the next page as i've been saying how i want to go to paris and europe and everywhere all the time. baba was unnaturally quiet. i looked up and he had put on his "thinking" expression.. "not a bad idea" he said. next thing i knew he was discussing the money and things with madhura didi on the phone (of course, i had no idea then it was her) and soon i was up on an emirates on my way across the globe. it was the most amazing time i've ever had. the lectures, the odd food timings, jet lags, disneyland, area 51, exciting new people.. it was a blur! it was over so soon! i was the happiest person alive! i was living a dream. i felt free as a bird!
and then i went to latur.
i have no idea how that happened. i just applied for the sake of it because its supposed to be the mecca of CET. its a small town almost nowhere and i decided that medicine was my calling. i wanted to be a doctor no matter what! whatever it takes. i joined. i had no idea what a ride i was in for. i was underwater!
it was a small town.. nowhere to be specific. my friends couldn't believe what i'd put myself in. "where's latur, for the record?" was all i got. but i was adamant. i wanted to be "that" guy in scrubs who saved them grateful patients. i wanted to be like mom and dad. i wanted to save lives.
the social life drowned me. straight from america, i'd landed up here. weird social rules. everything happened. i survived and i got into grant medical college, mumbai. i was in mumbai and in this beautiful college. all that mattered! dad was ecstatic. i probably inherited his love for gothic buildings. the first instant i looked at mumbai, i loved it. i knew i belonged here. i knew i'd earned my place here. and this was going to be my home for a really really long time now. and even though i got pushed around a LOT in the early morning rush at CST, i felt completely at peace.
i got settled and got through admissions without a glitch. lectured began and i began to love everyday! i had my own little cubbyhole in the apna hostel and a cadaver with very little fascia (okayyy but that still influenced my happiness!) .. i loved walking in those old, out of this world buildings and walked through the gigantic hospital with no intention or purpose. i spent hours on the terrace looking at the skyline and thinking what would i have done had somebody described this moment to me two months earlier. life was crazy man. and i was loving every bit of it!
then there was the second selection list. i asked for an upgrade on my college (according to my preferance list and not on any other basis) and i got transferred to LTMMC, Sion. i should have been happier but i was sad. for a moment, i wished i'd rather have been here but that was not to be. fate has funny plans for you sometimes.
i joined. i didn't know what i'd do there! i'd heard all kinds of nerds find a place in sion. no parties, no outings, all you do is mug. not a welcome prospect to me. well, i'd just have to take it. so i joined. fewer kids. i noticed the teachers bugged the students a lot more than they did in JJ. and i actually understood most of what the teachers said here! i mentally counted the kids. 96. thats more than what JJ did on a bad day. the dissection hall stunk of a worse formalin and the kids usually drenched themselves in it (never happened in JJ. they were always a foot away from the cadaver. minimum). i was in the PMT dominant batch. i decided to try and not make comparisons. after all, comparatively, the teaching in JJ was pathetic. the teachers put in every effort in here and that's what matters! but the ceiling's too low here.. i kind of loved the sky high ones in JJ. ugh. i gave myself a millionth mental kick for not keeping up with my promise. (and the hospital stinks too)
but it didnt take too long for me to get settled in here. i caught up with my friends from latur.. who were my hi-bye buddies back then and became my all-time buddies now. i saw many people who i knew previously to be very different changed dramatically now. i chose to be the amused spectator. and very soon i loved it here too! i loved that despite being in the college till 4 and then library till 8, i was still loving my life. i did what i loved and thats what mattered. thats where i am now. loving and living my life. this is what it should be all about. its what everything's always about. what we always fail to understand. so this is me. one person living her dream. doing what she loves. done everything it took to be here. content in what i have. not reminiscing the past, nor looking out for the future. living every day like it should be lived. something which took me 18 years to appreciate. and now, i wish this for me and for you, whoever bothered to stick with this till the end.. i wish you find your calling..
i'd start with my 16th birthday. 31st december 2008. not my best. but then that was school. all we did was make it to school on time in the morning, make through the morning session, wait for recess, then when recess was over, wit for lunch break. and then survived the post lunch history or english literature or selfwork or whatever, and waited for sports period (we had one everyday for one hour). i remember being really into sports. those were the good old days when we played the shittiest football. we loved every bit of it. that was also the time we whined about how our lives sucked on weekends and how we'd never even kissed a boy and how THIS year it was going to change. those were maybe the most carefree days life had in store for me. i wasn't immensely career driven. it didn't matter to me if i stood second. i was almost always the topper. and the persistent, consistent rule-breaker. i was a free spirit. studying came naturally to me. i read a lot. i read every book my library had (the literature section, of course). those were the days that shaped my mind, gave me my own outlook to perceive the world. that was when i loved shakespeare.. i read all abridged forms (the original being far too complicated) and dickens and charlotte bronte and jane austen and everything i could lay my hands on! i was a complete nutter, we ran in corridors and did whatever we felt like... bunked mock tests for boards, slept through class, watched movies.. everything. i got 93.4% in my CBSE boards. i wasn't surprised. i was elated, and proud of myself. my parents were, too. i'm blessed with parents who take me as i am, and not expect goddamn laurels from me and decide what i deserve from the marks i get and the marks i don't get. supportive in everything i do. "go have fun but study when you have to". thanks for not ruining my childhood like i've seen many people do to their kids. because that's downright criminal.
then i went to america. it JUST HAPPENED! one day i sat there reading a newspaper and there was this ad about a tour to america with a training camp in NASA. it sounded exciting. i just said to baba "i wanna go to NASA". i wasn't really expecting a "yes" as an answer and i turned to the next page as i've been saying how i want to go to paris and europe and everywhere all the time. baba was unnaturally quiet. i looked up and he had put on his "thinking" expression.. "not a bad idea" he said. next thing i knew he was discussing the money and things with madhura didi on the phone (of course, i had no idea then it was her) and soon i was up on an emirates on my way across the globe. it was the most amazing time i've ever had. the lectures, the odd food timings, jet lags, disneyland, area 51, exciting new people.. it was a blur! it was over so soon! i was the happiest person alive! i was living a dream. i felt free as a bird!
and then i went to latur.
i have no idea how that happened. i just applied for the sake of it because its supposed to be the mecca of CET. its a small town almost nowhere and i decided that medicine was my calling. i wanted to be a doctor no matter what! whatever it takes. i joined. i had no idea what a ride i was in for. i was underwater!
it was a small town.. nowhere to be specific. my friends couldn't believe what i'd put myself in. "where's latur, for the record?" was all i got. but i was adamant. i wanted to be "that" guy in scrubs who saved them grateful patients. i wanted to be like mom and dad. i wanted to save lives.
the social life drowned me. straight from america, i'd landed up here. weird social rules. everything happened. i survived and i got into grant medical college, mumbai. i was in mumbai and in this beautiful college. all that mattered! dad was ecstatic. i probably inherited his love for gothic buildings. the first instant i looked at mumbai, i loved it. i knew i belonged here. i knew i'd earned my place here. and this was going to be my home for a really really long time now. and even though i got pushed around a LOT in the early morning rush at CST, i felt completely at peace.
i got settled and got through admissions without a glitch. lectured began and i began to love everyday! i had my own little cubbyhole in the apna hostel and a cadaver with very little fascia (okayyy but that still influenced my happiness!) .. i loved walking in those old, out of this world buildings and walked through the gigantic hospital with no intention or purpose. i spent hours on the terrace looking at the skyline and thinking what would i have done had somebody described this moment to me two months earlier. life was crazy man. and i was loving every bit of it!
then there was the second selection list. i asked for an upgrade on my college (according to my preferance list and not on any other basis) and i got transferred to LTMMC, Sion. i should have been happier but i was sad. for a moment, i wished i'd rather have been here but that was not to be. fate has funny plans for you sometimes.
i joined. i didn't know what i'd do there! i'd heard all kinds of nerds find a place in sion. no parties, no outings, all you do is mug. not a welcome prospect to me. well, i'd just have to take it. so i joined. fewer kids. i noticed the teachers bugged the students a lot more than they did in JJ. and i actually understood most of what the teachers said here! i mentally counted the kids. 96. thats more than what JJ did on a bad day. the dissection hall stunk of a worse formalin and the kids usually drenched themselves in it (never happened in JJ. they were always a foot away from the cadaver. minimum). i was in the PMT dominant batch. i decided to try and not make comparisons. after all, comparatively, the teaching in JJ was pathetic. the teachers put in every effort in here and that's what matters! but the ceiling's too low here.. i kind of loved the sky high ones in JJ. ugh. i gave myself a millionth mental kick for not keeping up with my promise. (and the hospital stinks too)
but it didnt take too long for me to get settled in here. i caught up with my friends from latur.. who were my hi-bye buddies back then and became my all-time buddies now. i saw many people who i knew previously to be very different changed dramatically now. i chose to be the amused spectator. and very soon i loved it here too! i loved that despite being in the college till 4 and then library till 8, i was still loving my life. i did what i loved and thats what mattered. thats where i am now. loving and living my life. this is what it should be all about. its what everything's always about. what we always fail to understand. so this is me. one person living her dream. doing what she loves. done everything it took to be here. content in what i have. not reminiscing the past, nor looking out for the future. living every day like it should be lived. something which took me 18 years to appreciate. and now, i wish this for me and for you, whoever bothered to stick with this till the end.. i wish you find your calling..
